Expectations (A Short Story)

“It’s been raining for a while” said my brother. He continued, “if this rain continues for another hour we’d be flooded here in this funeral home.”

I assured him, saying “Don’t worry about it Caleb. The rain’s already weakening right now. No floods to worry about eh?”

The gloom and doom is not just with the weather truth be told, but everything that I’ve been experiencing for the past couple of years. A few bright spots here and there, but just generally pessimistic.

I look back to all of those years, and now I’m in my dad’s wake. Seeing his casket surges all the short memories I’ve had with him.

“Aidan” called my brother “Your uncle’s calling”

I walked to my uncle, “My deepest condolences” he told me.

Frankly, this day doesn’t bother me as much as I’ve expected. For years I was preparing myself for this day to come, that one day my family will receive a letter from the military telling us about the bad news of my father’s unfortunate demise.

It happened last week.

I was busy at work, doing favors for certain “friends from high places” when my mom called me.

“Aidan, please come home. Dad is dead.”

“I will, I’m sorry to hear that.”

I rushed to the nearest train station, and arrived at my home an hour later. In the living room I saw my brother Caleb, comforting my mom as she laid her head in his shoulder. It was obvious that she was forcing herself not to grieve, but her tears wouldn’t hold back. Our neighbors and close family friends were there as well. One by one they gave their sympathies to us.

“Mary” said one of our neighbors to my mom “I’m sorry to hear about your loss.”

Different lines, same meaning – our neighbors and friends feeling sympathy for us. I never really understood that practice to be honest. I just mostly observed them as I was there in the corner of the living room while I sipped my beer. I know that most of them never really felt their “deepest sympathies”, it was just a way to comfort us. But why is it we humans would go to the extent of lying just to comfort someone else’s grief?

Is it because we really care? I don’t know, emotions were never really my cup of tea.

That dreaded day kept replaying in my mind as I stared at the window in the funeral home. The strong pour of the rain only encouraged my active pessimistic thoughts, it bugged me as much as my questions of not really being there for my dad – or my dad not really being there for much of my life.

My dad, Elias, loved his military career. So much so that for practically half of my life he would be at military tours rather than my family’s most important moments. It was duty over family for him. I know that he loved us, but the country will always come first for him.

It was thanks to this practice that I inherited the same ethic from my dad. I still care for my family, sure. But that image of a close family being together for whatever happens, that’s not my life. A shame really, I was never really a family man – and unfortunately I’ll never be one.

This sort of regret comes to me, to which I try to distract my thoughts thinking about work. Observing my relatives and everyone else paying their respects to my dad is something to behold. It oddly calms me, that I’m just a few steps away as I see them converse and chat about my dad’s life, escapades and so on.

Suddenly, my phone rings.

Finally, a distraction from my emotional turmoils.

“Sir, what is it?”

“Aidan” my boss calls “How are you? I hope everything is alright.”

“Everything is fine sir. I’ll get over it, I’ll be back to work in 4 days.”

“I hope to see you again as soon as possible. I know how hard it is to lose a loved one. But we’ll need you focused. If you need more time to mourn just tell me.”

“I’ll be fine sir. In 4 days I can handle it.”

“Alright, take care.”

“Take care sir.”

Just as I ended my call, Caleb walks by to check me up.

“Bro, that was your boss I assume? Mourn with us, you shouldn’t stress yourself with your work. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

“Caleb, you don’t need to sympathize with me. You know very well how I feel about these things. I don’t want to sound harsh, but I’d rather be working than being stuck in this den of depression.”

“You never really changed brother, what’s bothering you? Is it your work?”

“Yeah, work. I just can’t get it off my thoughts.”

“You can tell me, you know.”

“No need, you wouldn’t understand.”

My brother nods, and he goes back to entertain our guests. Maybe I am a bit harsh, but I’d rather not pretend that I’m a family man myself. My family respects this. I do wish to change, but it’s too late now. That opportunity has long been gone.

Besides, my work is a much more important point in my life right now.

In a year from now, the elections are about to start. My work involves dealing with issues that may damage the reputation of one of our country’s congressmen. I am practically his public relations hitman. I make him look good, so that he can focus on important shit while I handle the dirty ones.

The fact that there’s only 360 days left before the general elections means more mudslinging, shallow discourse, and libelous statements. It’s gonna be hell, but I’d rather face that hell than become wallowed in my personal problems.

That job of mine was offered to me a year ago. Back then I was already working for 3 years in a think tank where I dealt with various projects concerning politics and the like. My old boss knew my current boss, and so that’s pretty much how I got the job.

At that time, my current boss needed someone to help him make his boss’ local project look good. I was already getting bored with my old job, so I took the chance. Problem was, this project we were dealing with involved mining. Worst of all, the area concerned affected indigenous lands. To make that project look good is like making shit smell like high end perfume; it was almost impossible.

Luckily – for me I guess – that area was also infested with rebels fighting the government over issues of poverty. So the way my boss and I dealt with the project’s image was two-fold. One, we made it look like the “job package” that would provide opportunities for nearby residents. Two, we spreaded malicious rumors claiming that the indigenous people against the mining project were also working with the rebels. Thankfully, the rebels themselves were not seen kindly by many of the residents nearby.

Our job was successful, the media bought our bullshit and the boss of my boss got it passed in congress. The government did the rest of the work dealing with the rebels and indigenous people. From there, the rest was history.

Is my job dirty? Yes, unprincipled even. But hey, when you can’t even call your boss by their name when talking to them in public, you know very well it’d be damn dirty. If only my dad knew what I’ve been doing right now, he’d understand. I know that as a soldier, he had to get his hands dirty from time to time too.

I’m not a soldier like my dad, I’m a hitman. A loyal hitman to be exact, one that only answers to my boss and to his boss.

Funny how I just thought about work right now. But as I muse about work I noticed that our relatives and close friends have already left. How long was I buried in my own thoughts? Was it really that long?

No matter, it’s already 15 minutes before 11 pm. As I face away from the clock, I walk to the very first row to which I’d sit and stare at my dad’s casket. My family is asleep, and I’m all alone. From here, this is how I’m going to mourn. This solitude is what I’ve needed for a long time.

But I’m not just going to mourn for my dad’s demise, I’m going to mourn for myself – all my regrets, my fears, my insecurities and the rest of the turmoils that has gotten me fucked up.

All those past years of memories start to surge into my mind.

But as I was about to get lost again in my thoughts, footsteps interrupt my ritual. I look back as I see Caleb, staring at me as his eyes show how worried he is about me.

“You should go to sleep brother.”

“Not now, I’m in mourning.”

“Then let me mourn with you.”

He walks towards me and sits by my side. I couldn’t take it anymore, these frustrations and turbulence of emotions just suddenly spill out forcing me to break down into tears. I’ve been so strong for all these years, but no longer at least for this night. I lay by my brother’s shoulder. He comforts me, with the most solemn of words he could muster.

“Caleb” I say to him “I don’t understand why my life had to be this way. This family, my work, everything. I don’t know what to do. I’m just fucked up.”

“I don’t know what else to say brother. All I want you to know is that mom and I are just here. Dad may not have been with us for most of our life, but I know he loves you as much as mom and I do. We’ll always be here, even if you constantly try to avoid us – do know that we’ll always be here.”

“These words mean nothing. They’re merely empty, I know it. I know they’re all lies, all of it just to comfort us from not accepting the bitter truths we hold.”

“Then at least accept this lie, for it will be better than the troubled truths you forcibly hold on to yourself.”

“I cannot, I’ll never accept this lie. We’re not a close family, all because dad never cared for us. He picked his duty over us, so let me do the same.”

Our conversation was cut short as my phone rang.

I wiped my tears with my hands before I answered the call. It was from my boss. I tried to calm myself for a few seconds to prepare myself  in answering the call. I wouldn’t want to sound so rough talking to my boss thanks to my cries.

“Aidan, I’m sorry if I had to call you this late. But it’s an emergency. We have reports that our bill is about to be scrapped within congress in the following days. If you could give us some suggestions about this, that’ll be fine. But I know that you’re in mourning so….”

“It’s fine sir, I’ll meet you tomorrow. Let’s discuss about it.”

“I thought you needed 4 days to rest?”

“I assume this is an emergency sir? My emotions will have to take a back seat I’m afraid. Don’t worry, I can handle myself.”

“Alright Aidan, take care of yourself. See you tomorrow.”

As I end my call, I stood up so as to leave the room and rest for my work tomorrow. But as I was about to leave, my brother walks towards me and puts his hand on my shoulder as a gesture of comfort.

“If dad were alive, I’m sure he’d apologize to us… to you as well.”

I turn to face my brother and said “I know, but it’s too late now is it? He’s already dead. Good night Caleb.”

“Just one more thing. Are you going to leave us again brother?”

“I’m afraid so.”

 

 

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Nosce te ipsum

Students of the social sciences are first taught to face hard truths. We were bred to assess social reality and see if it conforms with our ideology so that if dissonance arises, we may adjust our own views in order to harmonize with the external world.

Such critical perspectives are also necessary in assessing our own personality, character, and behavior. We do it all the time, but not always consciously. This constant self-scrutiny leads to that feeling of a dreaded perception of inauthenticity within ourselves. What used to be common practice seems so wrong, stretching not just our thoughts but our very values to its limitations. For this internal conflict did not root from an instance of sudden realization, but rather as a result of day-to-day activities that led to your individual awakening. Ultimately by accepting this change, you come to accept a new idol of yourself subsequently embracing it with delight. If not delight, a sense of relief.

Those years of being who you were is now a strange person to you. But you come to accept those terms. You are now a different person with some values left behind while others newly embraced to make you accept this new authenticity. We usually take this for granted, this constant endeavor exploring our very own being. What better way to mock it so by transforming it into clichéd statement that seems so shallow as “people change.” But nothing can come farther from the truth, for it is this very change that argues for the beauty of our own identity.

Semper tuus ero

Always, I am there ’til the night.
I will love you and love you so.
I’ll turn the day into your dream,
And I’ll be in your dream as you close your eyes.

Always, I will fight for your sake.
I don’t know how I will do so,
But I will always find a way.
And I promise to never break promises.

Always, I will be with you.
In mornings, I’ll wake your senses.
In evenings, I’ll serenade them.
And the precious little time I have will be yours.

Always, you are mine.
I’ll stand up no matter the fall.
I know I’m not perfect for you,
But I’d rather lose our fights than lose you.

Always, I hurt you.
I try the best I could, I swear.
Please don’t scream into the sunset,
Nor throw those gifts and trinkets I gave you.

Always, we just fight.
It will always remain the same.
You changed, and so did I my dear.
Yet I still pretend that what we have remains the same.

Always, I say “stay”.
I don’t know if I still love you,
But I don’t know a life without you.
So please don’t leave, even if you want to.

Always, I give up.
Gone are now the efforts I gave.
The sparks that we had, has now vanished.
So why am I still with you, and why are you still with me?

Always, I remember.
The days we met in November.
Dear, If only I knew better,
Maybe I could still whisper these lovely words to your ear, “semper tuus ero”.

And always, I am yours – but only a memory that I remember still vividly.

Wine

No circumstance would leave,
For a time our stories weave.
Indeed it was you,
To which my life I’d view.

A constant, you were mine.
For the length of time our relationship became like wine.
The longer it was,
The greater we’d surpass.

And this wine we cherished,
Of its joys we’d ravish.
Together we reaped,
But truth can’t be unzipped.

Realizations came,
Our wine would never be the same.
For wine it was not,
But disillusions it brought.

Forbidden, yet we drank,
And our future together now blank.
Farther we drifted,
In a space, neglected.

This wine, I regret.
This wine, I regret.
Not once, twice, three times,
But eternity, I’d carry these crimes.

Substandard Fan Fiction

“Mr. Jaeger, you’re not suppose to be sleeping in class!”

“Oh crap, I’m sorry Mrs. Robinson!”

And quickly after being reprimanded, Eren Jaeger looks at the classroom clock just above Mrs. Robinson. “Shit, 5 more minutes” he mutters to himself.

“I heard that” whispers Mikasa “just chill, it’ll be over soon. We can fight Titans again after this.” Yet for some reason, time seems to be slowing down for Eren. It’s as if that for this particular day, something feels off.

“There’s something weird, I just don’t have the words for it” as Eren whispers to Mikasa “It’s as if we’re being watched.” Mikasa raises her right eyebrow, slightly turning her head left to face Eren “You’re probably just feeling frustrated. We have about 3 minutes before classes end, it’ll be over–“

*Lightning strike*

As the smoke settles, Eren finds himself in a dark place with only the floor illuminating the area. “Mikasa? Mrs Robinson? Where are you?!”

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Eren looks down, sees himself in a large circular platform of illuminated glass resembling several characters from Disney–

“Hey! Who’s there? Who’s speaking? Where are you?”

As Eren shouts– “Of course I’m shouting! I can hear you, you know?”

Wait? You can hear me? You’re just my fan fiction character. You’re not suppose to–

“Fan fiction?” As Eren asks himself– “Can you stop mentioning my name, I pretty much know who I am thanks”

No. No. No. No. You’re suppose to you know, not know that you’re just a character of this fan fiction. “Wait, wait wait!” Eren interjects “So you’re telling me, that I don’t exist? That I’m just a fan fiction character?” to which Eren suddenly feels extremely uncomfortable of such realizations.

“Of course I feel uncomfortable asshole! I still can’t believe it. No! I refuse to believe it. I’ve been slaying Titans for years! They’re almost extinct now. Mikasa and I fought and saved the world together! We fought for this world and you’re telling me that this is all just a fan fiction of some person?!”

Yup.

“Jesus Christ.”  Eren tries to reject what has been shown to him. His face becomes pale, his joints become tense. He panics inside, refusing to succumb to the gravity of his realizations. 

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“No I… You know what, prove it to me. Conjure up a Titan right here in this platform”. Are you sure about– “Of course I’m sure! Unless you’re lying, this can’t be real. I don’t know how you’re finding out what I’m feeling right now, but this can’t be real!”

It is real, but the fact that you still refuse… Alright, suit yourself. A Titan suddenly appears at the edge of the platform.

*Titan roars loudly at Eren*

“Holy shit a Titan! But how?” The Titan slowly walks towards Eren with its sites to devour him.

“Oh fuck no walls to attach for my 3D maneuver gear. What the hell is this place? Hey you story teller or whoever you are, fine I believe you. Just get me out of here before the Titan devours me”

Alright, alright– “DO IT NOW!!!” Okay! Eren teleports back to Tokyo, Titan dies. There happy?

“Shit, that was close. Wait a minute I’m back in my room. How? I still can’t believe what just happened? Wait was that all a dream?”

Nope, that wasn’t a dream. “Shit!” Eren mutters to himself “So I guess this is real huh?”

Yes Eren, I am the author of this fan fiction. Like it or not, you and this world are all just made up. And I control you, there’s nothing more to it.

“No, this can’t happen. I’ve never submitted myself to the Titans, and I’l never submit to you – whoever you may be. I will never surrender my freedom again!” 

Oh? Is that so? Well you have no choice! Eren forgets “Don’t you do it!” that he lives “STOP!” in a world of “I SAID STOP NOW” fan fiction and his “NOOOOOOO” memories of the author.

“….Huh?” As Eren emotes– “I can still hear you, you know.”

Shit. Well, this isn’t what I planned for my fan fiction.

Celebrating the Holidays, the Non-Religious Way!

Yes! It’s indeed possible to celebrate the holidays without being religious!

Frankly, I’ve never been a fan of those atheist vs Christian wars that happen frequently in Facebook. Included in these debates are the discussions on celebrating Christmas, is it okay to celebrate it even though you’re an atheist – or non-religious even?

If you’re going to ask Pen Jillete – a famous comedian and militant atheist – he’d tell you that celebrating the holidays would be pure hypocrisy.

“What? You’re an atheist! You don’t believe in Christianity? So why celebrate Christmas?

Well of course, I disagree with him. A short history discussion would tell you that Christmas has been celebrated even before Christianity existed. Sounds impossible right? Not really, because it wasn’t really called Christmas back then. Heck, it wasn’t even a single event. Ancient Romans would celebrate Saturnalia, a type of festival held during the month of December. As you can see from the name itself, it’s a festival honoring Saturn, you know, the Roman Zeus who so happens to also be the god responsible for agriculture.

The Christmas traditions of eating, merry-making, gift-giving and even giving alms to the poor were also done as part of tradition when celebrating Saturnalia. Oh and since the Romans were honoring the god of agriculture, there were lots of food consumed by the rich and poor alike! So yeah, Saturnalia was like Christmas in every bit of its sense – except that part where you’re honoring Saturn instead of Jesus Christ. But hey, that was tradition!

Saturn_during_Equinox

All hail Saturn! Oh wait…

You also have the European Pagans who have a multitude of interpretations when it comes to religious belief, but tend to celebrate Winter Solstice. Just like Christmas, Winter Solstice happens usually around the month of December (assuming that you live in the Northern Hemisphere). The only difference between Winter Solstice and the rest of the holidays is that Winter Solstice is an actual astronomical event that happens every year. If you’re in the Northern Hemisphere, Winter Solstice happens in December. If you live in Australia – or any place in the Southern Hemisphere – Winter Solstice happens around June. Since our history and geography is obviously biased towards Northern-centric perspectives, we’ll just stick with the Northern Hemisphere tradition.

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Sorry mate, at least you get to celebrate Christmas in the summer right?

Due to the elliptical orbit of the Earth around the Sun – and the Earth’s tilt – there are certain days where the Northern Hemisphere receives less sunlight than usual. Winter Solstice is named for the day that has the shortest amount of time that the Sun is up. For our ancient brothers, seeing the daylight grow lesser and lesser looks as if that the Sun is dying. It’s only after Winter Solstice when the days start becoming longer and longer again – a rebirth of the Sun if you will. Hmm rebirth, sounds familiar right?

For a lot of European Pagans, they celebrate Winter Solstice because it marks as the rebirth of the Sun. They celebrate it just like how the Romans do – feasting, merry-making, drinking and even reflecting on prior experiences during the year. For German Pagans, they celebrate Winter Solstice by decorating their homes with evergreen boughs over their doors and windows as a reminder that the plants and trees will grow again after winter. Yup, it’s thanks to the Germans that decorating our homes with plants and trees has become part of the Christmas spirit!

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Hipster Germany, decorating homes with plants and trees even before Christmas existed.

There are several more traditions that are celebrated during the month of December. The holiday season is so widespread in terms of history and culture that Christmas doesn’t really have a monopoly on the holidays per se. But does that prove celebrating Christmas is wrong? Of course not! Frankly, if Christmas inspires you to be a better person through reflection and that it allows you to have a reunion with your friends and family, then I encourage you to keep on celebrating! A lot of things inspire us. If you’re inspired by the grace of Jesus Christ, who am I to ruin your day?

The fact that Christmas has adopted several traditions from other holidays goes to show that the event itself is a culmination of different cultures. Yes, Christians would tell you that the holiday is about Jesus Christ. But the universal values of Christmas – such as fraternity, self-reflection or just having a hell of a great time – is quite applicable and worth celebrating even if you’re not a Christian. Besides, ever since Capitalism and Globalization took over our world – Christmas has become secularized in a way. It has become a part of our popular culture to the point that even the Japanese celebrate it, and most of them aren’t even Christian.

So for the holidays – regardless if you’re an atheist, Muslim, Christian, agnostic or whatever – go and celebrate it with your friends or family! It’s great to reflect on what we did during the year, and see to improve ourselves next year. Also, for my non-religious and religious friends who like debating about religion in Facebook – celebrate the holidays by not flaming at each other at least during the said event. If the Allied and Central Powers can have a Christmas Ceasefire a hundred years ago during World War 1, I’m pretty sure you guys can do the same for your internet debates.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Illustrated_London_News_-_Christmas_Truce_1914

The Christmas Truce of 1914 during World War 1. Another example why the holidays are pretty great!

Reasons Why Your Facebook Friend Who Writes Around 10 Posts or More Is Annoying

We all have that friend who becomes the sole reason why we dread logging on into Facebook. Okay it’s a bit of an exaggeration, since he’s/she’s not really the sole reason per se. But it does get annoying. As if your college or workmate’s thought catalog-induced drama isn’t enough to ruin your social media experience, there goes Mr. Political Man or Ms. Follow My Life Everyday to make you think to yourself why you’re even friends with them in the first place.

It’s quite funny that I’m writing this, since I used to be one of them. Well I’d like to think that I used to be one of them, I mean I only make 1 post per day in Facebook – so I’m exempted from this generalization right?

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Grumpy cat is calling out my hypocrisy.

But let’s get down to serious business. Of course there are people who are an exemption to this rule. Some constantly write or share posts in Facebook, but we don’t really find it annoying. I myself like some of the posts of these types of people, because they do contribute cool stuff. And while defining an Fb post as “being something cool” is quite arbitrary depending on the preference of an individual; it goes to show that there’s probably a delineating factor between people who constantly posts stuff in Facebook and get around 10+ likes, and people who do the same but tend to annoy their audience.

1. Annoying People Who Post in Facebook Simply Don’t Know their Facebook Friend’s Preferences

When you’re the type of person who believes that you have found the solution to the ills of your country as if you invented sliced bread, tendency is you’d probably post about it.

“Hey! I just found out the solution to addressing poverty” *proceeds to share link from some random political blog page*

“No justice until the president resigns!” *proceeds to write a 700 word post justifying said reason*

“I found out why we get stupid politicians! It’s because they’re elected by stupid people!” *shares a terribly photoshopped and somewhat libelous meme photo*

Well, being the intelligent person you are – you should be getting all the likes and pretty girls praising you for your genius political rants and critique. Oh wait? There’s one problem. No one is liking it. On occasion, one of your friends is going to comment in your posts and accuse you of kulang sa pansin (attention seeker). Weird isn’t it? It’s about politics, people are suppose to care!?

Well sadly no, your political rants are annoying. It’s annoying because you don’t give them a reason to care, not necessarily because they don’t care about the state of your country. Chances are when your friends are the types who like stuff from Thought Catalog, you’re not really gonna elicit their interest. That’s because you – the annoying political machiavellian – don’t know how to relate with your audience. Of course you can act like how Plato thinks when it comes to discussing stuff with the common folk by not giving a damn about what your Fb friends think. But if you do this, the only attention you’d get is annoyance from your peers.

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Don’t let that smile fool you. Machiavelli is not pleased with your political rants.

How about we add some rhetoric ala Aristotle to make your political rants more palatable. If your friends list mostly composes of college-level girls who are swoon more by Tumblr drama girl posts than, let’s say, plans by your government to regulate the internet – how about you try relating this to their interest?

“Hey guys! The government is planning to regulate the internet! You know what that means? No tumblr for you!”

Actually, less Tumblr in the internet does sound like a good idea. But the point is – regardless if your posts are about politics, tv shows or whatever – what you’d need to do to make your posts less annoying is to allow your readers to relate. Let’s take that Asia Pacific Free Trade Agreement for example. How would you convince a bunch of college-level peeps of yours that this is good? Assuming of course that you’re for free trade. Maybe you can tell them something like this.

“Hey guys! You know that new iPhone coming out? It’s bat shit expensive and would probably require you to sell your kidney. But it would be cheaper if our country joins the Asia Pacific Free Trade Agreement! Now you don’t have to sell your kidney, although you’d probably need to sell your house.”

2. They’re Probably Hungry for Facebook’s 5 Seconds of Spotlight

The good thing about Facebook is that it’s easy to be updated with the lives of your friends. The bad thing about Facebook is that it’s easy for your friends to turn their Facebook into a second-by-second news cast about their life. Admittedly some of us find these types of people entertaining, but for most – oh hell no! Yup, some of our more dramatic friends really don’t know the difference between Facebook and Twitter. Wait, is there a difference?

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The only reason your friend decided not to post something in Facebook

To be honest, when we have a society that embraces Jersey Shore or fame-whore celebrities like Kris Aquino, chances are we’d see people try to imitate them – at least in Facebook. Of course – like any other sane individual – we have the option not to imitate the characteristics of these tv shows or personalities. Because frankly my dear, no one gives a damn if Johnny just broke up with you.

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Best to assume that your friends are like this guy.

Okay, maybe your closest friends do give a damn about your current emotional state and being. But come on! Do we really need to post stuff in Facebook about how your ex was a terrible kisser in the first place, or how you hate your ex-best friend for stabbing you in the back? If it were the case that the situation was really terrible, maybe you can be exempted one or two times. Your Fb friends would probably tolerate it. But to post your drama every single day 24/7? Does that come with a 9.99 subscription fee?

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Your life, for only 9.99.

I know it feels great that 20+ people would comment that they have your back. But give yourself some sort of dignity. It’s great to be the cool kid in Facebook, but that’s pretty much it. You’re just a cool kid – online. Only your close friends care what you do in real life, online popularity is pretty superficial.

Here’s a tip. Treat your life as something like a privileged elite club. Only a few people should have access to what you’re really feeling or what you’re really up to. For the rest of us common folk, give us the effort to find out without turning your Facebook account into an autobiography. If we really care about your life, we wouldn’t go to your Facebook account. We’d actually make the effort to be friends with you. More or less, your Fb friends would only think of you as a laughing stock whenever they press that like button for your online drama anthology. Not so great to have that popularity now huh?

As much as Mark Zuckerberg wants you to interconnect your personal and online persona, this shouldn’t be the case. Your privacy is worth more than the attention you get in Facebook. Have some decency for yourself, quoting lyrics from Taylor Swift is fine when done in occasion. Besides, you’re not Kim Kardashian. You’re not gonna make any sort of profit by publicizing your personal life.

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“I totally like that time when you posted about how Johnny is a terrible douchebag” says Mark Zuckerberg, when he was collecting your personal information for the Police State

3. These People Probably Use Facebook as an Outlet for their Insecurity

Before I get accused of generalization here – even though this blog post itself is about generalization – let’s get down to a couple of nuances. Not all of your annoying Fb friends who flood your newsfeed are insecure. Frankly, some are just inconsiderate. But it does not disregard the fact that there are people who use Facebook as an escape from their personal insecurity.

I mean, take my personal experience back in High School. I’d pretend that I was the greatest political philosopher in all the land! I’d be posting non-stop about political rants back when Facebook was still gaining popularity. I would enter into online debates often, counting my victories similar to a Call of Duty kill streak. Heck, I probably thought of myself back then as being smarter than you in every single way – except in math. Not even my ego would be able to hide the fact that I hated math.

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Butthurt dweller knows my teenage years too well.

Well of course I legitimately cared about the current state of my country. I still do. It’s just that back then in the period of teenage hormone-induced drama, I was trying to portray my online persona as someone different from who I really was. In truth, I was simply a lonely troll who felt a sense of insecurity about whatever characteristics I lacked. The same could probably be said for your annoying Fb friends who would flood your news feed with slanderous political opinions or their daily dramas 24/7. They want to be relevant, it’s just that they don’t really know how to express it. These people would do anything to crave for the attention, even if it warrants them bad publicity like annoying the hell out of you.

Well it didn’t really help that society expects you to be 6 feet tall while possessing rock hard abs. The same can probably be said for those of the opposite sex, where people expect girls to be like Taylor Swift or Beyonce. If you’re not the greatest looking person, you sure as hell can try to be the most popular one. This is pretty much the line of logic that your annoying Fb friends use whenever they flood your news feed everyday.

Taylor-Swift

Even at her worst, Taylor Swift still looks good when she’s having a bitch fit. Quick! Make a post again about how Johnny is a cheating bag of dirt!

Dear, everyone is insecure in some way or another. The only advice that I can give – coming from someone who has already passed this stage – is to recognize that flooding your friend’s news feed isn’t going to give you the attention you want. You know the difference between you and that guy who also does the same thing but gets the cheers for it? That guy knows when not to post shit that annoys people. Most likely, if the general mood of your news feed is pretty depressing – posting a 700 word rant wouldn’t really cheer them up. Instead, why not post a picture of cats? I mean, you visit 4Chan and Reddit. Cats are pretty much the greatest solution to all types of melancholy!

The point is, you should stop using Facebook as an outlet for what you lack. You’re not gonna be the next president or the next Beyonce, at least not in the near future. If you feel that you’re jealous about your friend who gets 200+ likes all the time for his photos, why not legitimately talk about it with your friends instead of posting rants about how you hate people like that? It’s better for you emotionally, and probably psychologically as well.

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I should start listening to myself sometimes.

Facebook is not inherently bad. Sometimes it cheers us up to see your friends succeed in their own life. Sometimes, your friend really deserves that like when he posts about how he finished a single game of Civilization V under 24 hours. These types of online interactions help give us that giggly feeling that cheers us up on a bad day.  Whether it’s another cancer video or the latest fashion trend, seeing these posts in the news feed can brighten our day. It’s just that, just like alcohol, Facebook can be addicting. It can be terrible for our own self-esteem and expectations. Sometimes, we even start relying on it as a sort of getaway place to escape our troubles. It feels good at first, but we lose out in the end.

When your friends start finding your posts annoying, that’s when you should start thinking to yourself if there’s anything wrong with your online etiquette. Who knows? Having a bit of fresh air away from the internet can be pretty helpful.

Now excuse me, I’ll start playing Civilization V again.